The things we don’t talk about

Now, there is a lot of talk/action about reclaiming ‘fat’ as a word. However there are sides to being big that I haven’t seen many of the Fatosphere bloggers touch on, at least in my brief sojourn into the archives. The ‘side effects’ of being fat that aren’t touted around even by the ‘fat is unhealthy’ brigade. Most people talking about  their experiences as a fat person will focus on humiliations undergone, the lack of clothing, the feeling that they aren’t allowed or don’t deserve pretty things.

There are other things that we generally don’t talk about, even with other people who might be in the same situation. It took me a long time to admit to my friends (of all shapes and sizes) that I couldn’t wear belts because my fat would roll around the buckle and invariably react to the metal, sometimes managing to do this through fabric! And people wonder why my trousers need hiking up reguarly. The chafing and general sweatiness of me personall+my size means I do need to wash a lot more regularly than when I was thinner.  The fact that showering results in spiders of my long hair (loose hairs that fall/wash out then tangle up together) get stuck in all sorts of waaaaay TMI places. I have no idea if this is a problem unique to me. I’ve never managed to pluck up the courage to ask a fat OR thin woman whether they regularly have to pull hair spiders out of their butt cracks.

Or whether it’s only me that develops weird little …things in my under arms, little pouches/bumps of skin that aren’t warts and certainly aren’t tumours. They’re just there being unsightly. I can deal with the sagging flesh and the cellulite and the stretch marks, but weird little skin bump things? Urgh.

These things that we don’t talk about are harder than accepting that I am bigger in scale than most other women I know. I’m used to and comfortable with many aspects of my body that are not traditionally attractive. I like my buttocks, I like my bum, I even like my calves. I’m used to my thigh and my tum, and I’m not ashamed of going swimming or the gym, I’m not ashamed of jiggling in public view. It’s who I am. I wouldn’t me be if I didn’t jiggle. But the hair spiders? The inability to wear belts? The skin nodule things? Those aren’t me.

Well, mebbe the hair spiders are. I do have waist long hair now, after all.


~ by Pewter on June 24, 2008.

3 Responses to “The things we don’t talk about”

  1. I saw a comment you made on Big Fat Deal and clicked here, and… I love stuff people don’t talk about! I also have waist-long hair and I have the same problem with hair spiders! And I also can’t wear belts! And dear God I apologize for the excessive exclamation points, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone.

  2. Hair Spiders anonymous?

    Seriously, I have never seen the problem mentioned anywhere, which is a tad frustrating. It is a bizzare experience the first time it happens to you!

  3. Very courageous post. Thanks for sharing your experience, as I’m sure many can relate to such frustrations.


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